Friends and family often offer unsolicited advice on how to improve relationships. They tell you what to say or do in order to make your partner happy. They also offer words of encouragement to keep your spirits high when things go wrong. However, what they say is based on their own experiences, and it may not apply to yours. To have a healthy relationship, both people need to be on the same page. They also need to communicate openly and honestly about their feelings and concerns. When your relationship troubles are caused by trouble in another relationship, it’s easy to think that what you’re experiencing isn’t serious enough to warrant help. They may think they can fix the problem on their own or with the help of a friend. However, problems that seem minor when experienced by one person can be major when experienced by both members of a couple. Here are some ways to tell when your relationship needs outside help.
Healthy relationships have problems; they just don’t stay stagnant without reason. Problems in a relationship can stem from a difference of opinion or values- whether those differences are obvious or subtle is up to the two individuals involved. If one person wants to give up on a relationship because of constant fighting, it should be a red flag for both parties. The fact that you’re still in the relationship proves that you both want to salvage it; so long as both people recognize that work is needed, the problems need not derail them from pursuing a solution. One way problematic relationships slip through the cracks is due to short-term fixes that seem like they’ll make everything better but actually do the opposite. For instance, if one person wants to give up on their relationship due to constant fighting, it may seem like giving them space or solving their issues would do the trick. However, when one partner refuses to let go of an issue, they will inevitably bring it back into the mix whenever they feel mistreated or angry. While temporarily alleviating tension, these solutions also teach each party not to admit when they’re wrong- which only perpetuates conflict when both partners refuse to compromise on matters of importance. Instead, both parties need to recognize that they are wrong and will only resolve problems by admitting it and discussing them until mutual understanding occurs.
Healthy relationships require work- but not every problem is a sign of trouble. Sometimes your problems are normal for a new couple; other times, you’re simply ignoring an issue until both people grow more irritated than satisfied with each other. However, when issues go unaddressed for too long, unhealthy consequences can ensue such as infidelity or physical violence. Ultimately, working on your relationship is an ongoing process; both parties must be willing to address issues as they arise so as not to harm the bond between them